Wait for Me
by blueangel573
Summary: Ulrich would never live down the fact the one thing that took his best friend from him, was the one thing he couldn't have done anything to change. [Warnings: Major Character Death, M/M]


**Hello, everyone. It's been quite a long time since I've written for this fandom. At all really. I went through something very difficult to deal with, and have lost most of my inspiration when it comes to writing, and most every other hobby I once enjoyed. This story is based very loosely off events that happened to me in my life. I hope you enjoy. :)**

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 _Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy._ Ulrich would never be able to get the words out of his brain. Those 26 letters, all put together in a word that allowed Ulrich's life to fall into nothing. Maybe not _nothing_ , but as of now, that's all he felt. The German student glanced at the empty bed beside his own, untouched despite the fact the person once inhabiting it no longer being with them.

It wasn't _fair._ This wasn't how things were supposed to go. Odd was supposed to still be there, snoring so loud not even earplugs could help him. Cuddling his dog and waking up far past the time their alarms went off. The worst part about it all was, he couldn't have changed anything. There's nothing Ulrich could've done to change what had happened.

Ulrich groaned and fell back against the headboard of his bed, tears burning at the back of his eyes.

" _I'm sorry, but Odd died in his sleep last night. There was nothing that could've been done, this condition goes undetected all the time."_ Ulrich scoffed, like that was somehow supposed to make him feel better.

He was his best friend, everything he wasn't and yet they fit so well together. Ulrich knew he shouldn't have talked to the stupid blonde, he knew all he would do was cause trouble.

"Stop, stop." Ulrich clenched his eyes shut, head falling in between his knees. Placing blame wouldn't help the situation, yet no matter how many therapists Delmas sent him to see it never seemed to stop tickling at that now permanently damaged part of his brain. It was his fault, he couldn't save his best friend. He should've seen _something._ No matter the fact there was nothing he could've seen, nothing that had changed. He just up and died and it wasn't fair.

It had been two weeks since the brunette last saw his spunky roommate. The last time he uttered the words good night and placed those damn earplugs in to drown out Odd's relentless snoring. The last time he ever saw the steady rise and fall of that svelte figure, the last time he ever heard his voice.

Ulrich screamed and threw his pillow with all the strength he had. How do you keep going when you miss someone so _fucking_ much? How do you keep going when your heart and your mind will be forever broken, never hoping to be repaired? He sounded so cliche even to his own mind, but what was the point of sounding sane? His best friend was gone, and there's nothing he could've done.

For once in his life, the German boy let himself cry. Tears streamed down his face, broken sobs echoing loudly throughout the room. He didn't even try to keep quiet. Who cares if anyone heard him? He had nothing left to lose.

It wasn't long after he heard a knock at his door, and a very soft "Ulrich?" from the other side. It didn't take much to figure out who it was, but Ulrich was too far gone. His throat hurt from the desperation of his cries, his body sinking slowly to the floor as exhaustion swept over him. He didn't even flinch as a pair of scrawny arms wrapped around him, a soft shushing entering his ears.

"It's okay, it's okay." He could hear Jeremie say through his sobs. Ulrich shook his head furiously. Nothing was okay, nothing would ever be okay again. Why was he the only one that could see that? "Ulrich, please, you have to calm down. I'm here, you're not alone. Please, Ulrich." The teen could hear the desperation in his friend's voice, but nothing loosened the grip on his heart. Not even the cold, damp wet spot quickly appearing on Ulrich's shoulder where Jeremie had begun to cry with him.

"I miss him, too. Damn it, Ulrich, I miss him so much it kills me. I know that not even I can say I know how you feel, none of us can. But please, you have got to listen to me." Ulrich began to feel himself choke, dry heaving over the floor. Jeremie removed himself quickly from the embrace he had wrapped Ulrich in and brought him an empty wastebasket, holding it along with Ulrich's shaky hands.

"He loved you, you know?" Jeremie began, and the words twisted his stomach into knots. "You loved him too." Ulrich's head lolled back against his bed, hands clutching his aching stomach. "You feel guilty because you never told him." Ulrich took a harsh breath, tears still falling in great quantities down his face.

"I-" Ulrich faltered, a broken sob escaping his throat. Jeremie grabbed Ulrich's hand in his own. "I n-never...I never got to tell h-him." Tears fell silently down Jeremie's face as Ulrich took several more harsh, uneven breaths. "He died without ever knowing. H-He died thinking I loved-" Ulrich's chest clenched shut and he let out another deep wail.

"He knows." Jeremie said, smiling lightly at the other boy. "He's still with us. He has to be. I mean, I don't know if I believe in Heaven or God...But I do believe that somehow he's still with us. Energy can't be created or destroyed, right?" Ulrich chuckled brokenly.

"Good ol' Einstein." Ulrich said. Jeremie gave another small smile. "I just wish I could've said goodbye. The last thing I-" Ulrich paused, taking another deep breath before continuing. "The last thing I said was, try not to stay up too late playing that stupid game." Jeremie stared at the other boy sadly. "Not even a goodnight."

"I'm sure Odd would've preferred that to a teary goodbye." Ulrich's head shot up towards Jeremie, eyes questioning. "You said goodbye in a way that fit your relationship, is what I mean." Ulrich could feel that Jeremie didn't know quite how to explain what he meant, but in a way, Ulrich got what he meant.

Ulrich sighed heavily, wiping the last of his tears off his face.

"Thank you, Jeremie." Ulrich said, heart barely in it. Jeremie nodded and pointed back towards the still ajar door.

"I'm going to head to bed. You okay?" Ulrich nodded, sitting stiffly on his bed. Jeremie gave a final nod and closed the door, the only remnants of the blonde being his quickly fading footsteps. Ulrich stared dead eyed at his friend's vacant bed.

"You better wait for me. I know you don't want me to show up anytime soon, but, I just want to know you'll be there waiting for me when it's my turn." Ulrich lifted himself off his bed, walking slowly toward the opposite side of the room. The German boy slid his hands across the covers before sitting down.

"I miss you." Ulrich cried, laying his head down against his best friend's pillow. _Still smells like him._

"I love you, goodnight, Odd."


End file.
